Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
