You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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