is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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