your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
too bad you live with your parents still
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
