So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize