I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
