She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
where are you?
Hypothermia
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
