If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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