he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize