Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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