I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize