i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
