I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
