Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i think my tv is drunk
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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