I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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