I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize