White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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