Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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