She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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