Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
