hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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