I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
