and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
