I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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