dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
