i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize