hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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