You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My Sexting was not on an AP level
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
