I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
