so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
