please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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