Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
