they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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