don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
handjob tips. give me some.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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