that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
