i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
