just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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