Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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