Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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