Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
