happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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