His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
it's like iHOP with fire
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
