just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
