Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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