I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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