I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
