it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
