I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
