I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Holy shit dude........stairs
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
