3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
it was like eating out sand paper
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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