I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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