I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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