i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
