I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize