Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
