Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
