you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
