Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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