My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
