Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
