Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
