You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
