Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
