Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
