I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
