After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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