ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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