How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
